Adventures in Wisconsin

I just returned from a home-scouting visit to the great land of cheese, otherwise known as Wisconsin. I ate more cheese in three days than I have in a year. I had curds of all kinds, five-year aged cheddar, smoked cheddar, a cheese-filled pepper, string cheese...it was a cornucopia of queso. I loved every minute of it (although my stomach cried "stop, please, I can't take anymore!"). The great people of Wisconsin show their love for the stuff in their thick bellies, cheese wedge hats and disdain for those damn "happy cows" we Californians claim ownership of.

I had an especially interesting encounter with a Wisconsinite who scared me a bit with his strong convictions against cheese produced outside of his home state. I was innocently wandering a grocery store's cheese isle (it was massive!) perusing their selection when the following scene played out:*

      
                                                                       PAM 
          Look over here, honey.
      
          Pam guides Jennifer to a case of shredded mozzarella.
     

JENNIFER         

       
           I don't see Tillamook cheese; it's one of my favorites. it's made in Oregon,"

          Jennifer delivers line thoughtfully thoughtfully while reaching for a garlic and dill flavored bag   of curds. 

                                                                        PAM

            Jim will love those!         
       

JENNIFER          

            I don't see any California cheese

           Jennifer innocently shrugs her shoulders.

      
           Que banjo music.

       
           With an angered look, a red-faced, round, overall-clad Wisconsinite turns his head around to see who just spoke

                                                             RED-FACED MAN
          
            (Sneering) Why on God's green earth would anyone want to eat cheese made in California?

JENNIFER           

            Well, I like Califor -

       
            Red-Faced Man's eyes narrow, and he grips the handle of his sausage, brat, whole milk,      white sandwich bread, cheese log-filled cart as if restraining himself. Pam grabs Jennifer's arm to stop her and looks her sternly in the eye, shaking her head.

            Red-Faced Man slowly wheels his cart away, and mutters incoherently under his breath.
            

RED-FACED MAN             

            Damned west coast fruit!


                                                                         END

*Events have been fictionalized for dramatic effect. 

      


           

          

         

Panaderia Paradise (also entitled: "Tito, you marry me?")

I love food. My dress size will confirm that. I have had dreams in which I was ferociously raiding a bakery. Well, my friends, last weekend, my dream came true. This wasn't just any old bakery, either. It was a panaderia. For those of you who are not aware of what a panaderia is, I will tell you. It's literal translation from Spanish to English is "house of baked fabulousness". Really. It is. OK, enough joking around, because panaderias are serious business. A panaderia is simply a Mexican bakery in which delicious sugar-and-fat-laden confections are served up in plentiful and inexpensive delightfulness. The most well-known (and a personal fave) is the concha (Spanish for "shell"). Conchas are large, fluffy, sugary, yet not too sweet buns with a crumbly top that mimics the look of a shell (hence, the name). They come in colors such as yellow, brown, white, and pink (the best one!). I love Mexican pastries; they are like kryptonite to me. I cannot resist.



A Display Case of Love

So, when my lovely friend Ariane invited me to a weekend at Disneyland (more on that food extravaganza later) which started at the panaderia of a family friend in Long Beach called Tito's Bakery, I was in speechless delight. We arrived at the bakery and were greeted with the smells of fresh bread, cake as well as a grill, serving up some of the best beans, rice and tacos I've ever eaten. If you ever find yourself anywhere near Long Beach, go there.    

Tacos al Pastor (pork marinated in pineapple juice and grilled)

 Yes, I ate pork. I hadn't done that in a while, but when it comes to food like this, one such as myself cannot resist. Of course, I didn't want to be rude, I simply had to eat what they served me!

Grillin' Up Some Meat!



At the end of our visit, we were invited to pick out as much pan dulce as we desired. We left for Disneyland carrying two very large overflowing bags of wonder. Oh, joy!

I said I wasn't gonna do it...

We just got back from the Fair. My mantra with regards to the fair this year was that it's too expensive (which it is) and I'd rather spend my money elsewhere (which I would). This, however, was impulse trip; the kind of trip I would make much more if I had an equally-impulsive husband. Thankfully, my hubbie - God love him - is about as impulsive as the Pope on Easter, so it ain't happenin'. My mom called saying you can get in for free if you bring in four canned food items for the local food bank. I did some mental calculations, and pondered the thought of being in the house with three stark-raving-mad children (it's been a long week), and said "what the hell, let's do it!" I am proud to say that I was in and out of the gate having dropped only $15, which is astounding to me. Usually, we've unloaded at least 60 bones prior to entering the joint.


So, there are several topics of interest I will discuss with regards to our outing. #1: the people (ay dios mio) #2: the food (deep-fried butter? Really?) #3: my children (they served up a healthy dose of whaaburger and french cries, for sure) OK, first thing's first. The people. OH MY GOD, Becky. The fair kicks up, and the freaks emerge from their dens. It's like they've cast the part of "fairgoer" as SNL characters. Lord forgive me, but these people were pretty damn strange. What did I see, you ask? Let's do a sample run-down: a woman in a top and, apparently, no pants, a man in overalls sporting a Santa beard, a woman in stilettos, mullets as far as the eye could see, gangstas wearing their colors out-loud-and-proud (along with their children, I may add)...shall I continue or do you get the gist? These people, by the way, were packed into the place like sardines. And it was hot. Not a good combination.  Now that I've damaged my karma for the next few weeks by talking major smack ("Major Smack" insert salute here..sorry, it's a "How I Met Your Mother" reference, couldn't resist), I will move on.


The food. Oh, fair food. It's very much a love/hate relationship I have with the stuff. Yeah, it's so incredibly baaaaaadddd. But, damn, it's soooooo goooood! I had one bite of my mom's funnel cake & I had to sit down for fear of swooning. The smells coming from the BBQ pit made me want to say "screw you, vegans!" and run up to the rotisserie pig and take a big, honkin' bite out of it's belly. The sight of a foot-long corn dog made my eyes glaze over. Being that this was my first time attending the fair as a quasi-vegan, I will share what I ate this year and what I've eaten - religiously - every other year I've gone. This year I had a cup of mixed fruit (including cucumber & jicima) with chili and lemon (a Mexican food staple here in Cali that I cannot resist). Period. If you know me, you're thinking "what the #$*@!! She's lost it! She's gone all 5150 on us!" You know what? I'm OK with it. Previous years, I have had the following, in order, with no wavering from one year to the next, since I was 18 (thanks to a-not-to-be-named-cousin-because-he-is-now-in-law-enforcement, for buying my beer before my 21st!): a beer, a beef stick, a piece of chocolate fudge, a beer, a corn dog, two soft tacos, a beer and, the piece de resistance, a cinnamon roll the size of my head. Oh, and one last beer. I'd go home, making a sometimes futile, attempt to keep from yacking my brains out. This is not to say that while whisking my daughter to the potty I didn't seriously contemplate making her wait while mommy purchased a pint of bud, but, let me tell ya, right now, I'm feeling no pain other than the ache of a long day and the exhaustion of caring for three crazed lunatics, otherwise known as my dear, precious children.


Which brings us to #3: the offspring. I informed the little hooligans that we will not be riding the rides at the fair today. Too expensive. Too stressful (those toothless carnies blasting ACDC tracks make me nervous). I was clear. I was precise. I was definite. Did that stop them from asking repeatedly to go on the rides? Of course not. Did they appreciate the fact that I carted their little booties to the fair when I had said I wouldn't? Nope. Did I, in a fit of frustration, tell that that if I behaved the way they were behaving when I was their age, I would've already had a spanking? Why, yes, I did. All idle threats aside, what is it with these kids? With the stuff they had out for kids to do there, as I kid, I would've piddled myself. I was happy just looking at the cows, let alone actually getting to milk them. Well, OK, they didn't actually get to milk a real cow, but they did get to milk a fake cow. Not that milking a cow is an amazing thing for kids, but, well....you get my point, right?


Yes, it was hot. Yes, it was laden with the crazies. Yes, my children on occasion made me want to pull my hair out. Did we, ultimately, have a good time? Take a look at the pics, and you be the judge.

Roo & Her Cousin Mitch

Acting the Fools

Paige Horfing Cotton Candy

Cantaloupe & Cotton Candy...Breakfast of Champions



My Delectable Fruit Cup



Ice Queen

So, since it's 95 degrees and mid-October, I'm still in "summer food" mode. Which means, I don't want to turn on the oven too much, and I want cool and/or light food. Less hot chocolate, more ice cream. My family all love love love ice cream, and I have a handy-dandy, perfect little ice cream maker, so I've taken to making a batch of homemade ice cream almost on a daily basis. The frozen canister for the ice cream maker gets more use than a groupie backstage at a Motley Crue concert. My husband treats the thought of a vegan diet much the same as he would a terrorist making an attempt to take away his God-given freedom. Thus, he - and the kids - get the traditional milk-based confection. I admit that I do give the stuff a taste, for quality control, of course. Oh, did I mention I have an ocean-front home for sale in Colorado? Anyway, for the most part, I make my own vegan version of the stuff. Don't have an ice cream maker, you say? Well, with summer a soon-distant memory, I'd imagine one can be found for a steal. Mine is a Cuisinart (the best-reviewed model by America's Test Kitchen (http://www.americastestkitchen.com/), which is my go-to for a lot of essential kitchen information), and was $50. Not bad, given that I'm able to make a batch of premium vanilla ice cream for under $2. If you eat as much ice cream as my family does, you'll recoup the cost in about a month (insert laugh here). The flavor combinations are endless (basically chuck whatever you want into the milk and sugar mixture), but my faves are here.

Traditional Vanilla Ice Cream

3 cups half-and-half (again, I'm like a broken record...I get mine at Costco for cheap!)
3/4 cups sugar (any will do, but I prefer raw or organic, unprocessed sugar)
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 pinch of salt (yes, I add a touch of salt. It enhances flavor.)

Whisk half-and-half and sugar until sugar is dissolved, add vanilla and salt, pour into ice cream maker, and let her rip (take a look at your maker's instructions for the fine print details)

Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

3 cups half-and-half
3/4 cups sugar
1 teaspoon real peppermint extract (good quality extract is the key to amazing ice cream. Go to Whole Foods (http://www.wholefoods.com/) and buy it there...it makes all the difference)
1 cup chopped bittersweet chocolate (or chocolate chips in a pinch)
1 pinch of salt

Follow directions for vanilla ice cream above, adding the chocolate at the last five minutes of freezing in the maker.

Vegan Chocolate Coconut Ice "Cream"

3 cups rice milk (or almond, soy, hemp...whatever revs your engine)
3/4 cup raw sugar or agave syrup
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 cup unsweetened dry coconut
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 pinch of salt

Whisk milk and sugar until sugar dissolves (or, if using agave, until both are incorporated), add cocoa powder, coconut, vanilla and salt. The cocoa is gonna fight you on mixing in, just beat the hell out of it, and let the ice cream maker do the rest...it'll soon give in and join the party.

I love peanut butter and I don't care who knows it!

Yes, they aren't the prettiest girls at the dance, but they're SO fun to be around!

So, I'm off sugar. For the first time in my life, I've gone more than the stretch of a week without consuming one form or another of the processed sweet stuff. Well, maybe when I was on the low-carb kick, I may have not had any, but I made up for it in bacon fat. Now, I'm not OCD about not eating sugar. I will have it on occasion, but in my day-to-day, it's a no. I will allow myself maple syrup, honey and my new obsession, agave syrup*. So, being that my sweet tooth almost never can be tamed - she can be put in the stable for awhile, but she inevitably breaks free - this has been a challenge. Well, they say necessity is the mother of invention, and I've come up with many successful - and not so successful - dessert recipes that have no processed sugar (I'm talking about the white stuff that I crave like a crack addict; therein lies the problem). I'm also trying to ban processed flour. That's a bit more tricky, cause I love me some sourdough bread (as does my entire home-front crew), and all the other white bread-based yumminess. I'll share a lot of my recipes in future posts, but for today, here's my experimental peanut butter cookies I made today that weren't half bad. I added oats for texture & to thicken up the dough - the agave made it too thin - but you can omit the oats and just add more peanut butter. You can also throw in nuts, raisins, flax seed...anything, really. I've included the original version of cookies I modified to veganize & desugarfy, which came from my husband's aunt. The originals are hands down the easiest, best peanut butter cookies you'll ever have. I'm dead serious. My substitute will work for us vegans (and those who want to get away with giving your kids "cookies" for breakfast - these are far more healthy than any commercial boxed cereal I know).


Vegan Sugar Free Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies


Preheat oven to 350


Mix together:


1 cup peanut butter (I use Kirkland Organic from Costco (http://www.costco.com/) ...it's yummy, cheap and has no sugar added)
2/3 cup agave syrup
2/3 cup oats
1 egg substitute (I use 1 tablespoon flax seed flour {organic, at Costco, too!} mixed with 3 tablespoons water...works like a charm)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt

Scoop generous tablespoons of dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet (we all know from Martha to use an ice cream scoop for this, right?). These little babies don't spread like other cookies, so I smash them flat with the bottom of a glass coated with vegetable oil.

Bake for about 8 minutes, let cool & enjoy!


The Best Peanut Butter Cookies You Will Ever Have

preheat oven to 350

mix together:

1 cup peanut butter (traditional sugar-laden creamy works best here)
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt

Scoop generous tablespoons of dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet, press those little criss-crossy ticktacktoe things on the top with the prongs of a fork (no smashy-smash needed here...these girls spread. Um...that came out wrong.) and bake for 8-10 minutes, let cool & enjoy!

*So, about agave syrup. My fellow health food friend Lily introduced it to me, and I was sceptical at first. Wasn't agave what they used to make tequila? Didn't I have a life-altering run-in with that liquid sin back in 1994? I'd walk by the agave at Costco and immediately get nauseated, remembering what that stuff did to me on my high school graduation trip to Hawaii. Alas, I was desperate to find sugar substitutes that weren't invented in a lab, and I gave it a try. You know what? LOVED IT! It's like thin, very mild honey. The best part about agave - and the reason I'm so obsessed - is that it does not effect your blood sugar level like other sweeteners. Translation: no sugar crash. I was sold. Oh, and the stuff works great in drinks (lemonade, tea, coffee...anything).

Tomorrow? Ice Cream!

Slow Ride

So, I told my husband that I was starting a blog, and he rolled his eyes. Yeah, it's a bit silly & self-indulgent. I get it. However, I really wanted a place to share my "journey" as a mother and my thoughts/ideas/recipes related to veganism and, well, food in general. So, I'll start with a bang! Here's a go-to recipe I can't live without. It's made in a slow cooker. I love my slow cooker. I dream of my slow cooker. I sometimes can be found hugging it.  My late grandmother (The Official Posthumous Queen of the Kitchen) gave it to me as a wedding present over seven years ago. Slow Cooker has seen better days; she's lost her handles, her lid no longer fits properly, and she's got more stains in and on her that my carpet. Yet, she still serves up delectable meal after delectable meal. I joke that you can throw a boot in her and she present a  fabulous dish in mere hours. But I digress...

Grandma Jennie's Split Pea Soup (Minus the Ham Bone & Italian-Catholic Guilt)

Throw the  following ingredients in the slow cooker in the morning, stir, set to low and be eating soup by dinnertime:

3 cups dry split peas
1 medium onion, chopped
2 carrots, chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 dry bay leaves
1 teaspoon dried thyme (or 3 t fresh)
salt & pepper to taste (I usually add about 1 tablespoon salt and 1/2 tablespoon pepper and adjust before serving, if necessary)
8 cups vegetable broth or water

Note: I always use organic ingredients whenever possible. We are not a 100% organic family, but we are close. I almost always buy organic meat. eggs and dairy products (my husband and kids aren't vegan...a topic for another post!) You know what, though, use whatcha got, I say. Even buying one organic ingredient is better than none in my book. I do not, however, condone or endorse cooking with sub par items such as imitation vanilla extract or "Parmesan" in that horrid green can. Using such rubbish is a sin and - in my book - is punishable by firing squad. Hey, I'm just sayin'...

Second Note: If you wanna add the ham bone (or diced ham in a pinch), I ain't gonna lie to you, it's gonna take the taste level up about 100 notches. It's a great use for the leftover ham bone after a big holiday dinner. But, alas, it will not be vegan. Also, it will be a lot more expensive, a lot less healthy, and a lot more inconvenient hunting down a damn ham bone. The vegan version is amazing by itself...give it a try.

Note Again (the last one, I promise): My dear grandmother would not classify my vegan soup as a meal, or as soup for that matter. Hell, she'd probably say it wasn't even food. She was a card-carrying meat lover who lived on a ranch and probably assisted in the slaughter of more than one pig to be sacrificed to the pea soup gods. So, I apologize, grandma...no piggy here.